Again, Seriously?
by Chelsea Jay
Summary: So Valentine's Day happened and love is still in the air. Stiles is insatiable, Derek is more than willing to please him, Peter creeps, Scott is scarred for life, Erica likes to watch, Boyd doesn't give a shit, and Isaac feels left out. Also, this is my Teen Wolf Charity Project commission for Kedreeva. There will be explicit sexual content, read at your own discretion.


**All this time I've been writing fanfiction I thought I was being all fluffy and sweet, but after rereading my stories and trying to write this I came to realize that I was delusional and that all that sappy shit was in my head. I am, like, the undeclared Queen of Angst and Cliff-Hanger Central while being the Baroness of Kinky Porn. So I admit I had trouble writing the regular porn and the happy moments. Especially seeing as though I've never been in a functional relationship. So I wrote and rewrote this a million times and finally came to find something that made me laugh as much as it made me blush. So here we have it. I hope you love it like I did. :)**

* * *

Stiles awoke to the smell of bacon in the air. Blinking wearily, he stretched as he sat up and looked around the room. Yawning he stood up and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower. Last night Derek and him had gotten pretty dirty, and as much as he loved the reminder he didn't think it was sanitary.

Getting out and drying himself with a towel he headed back to the room. Slipping on his boxers and one of Derek's shirts he headed downstairs towards the kitchen. As he walked through the threshold he paused to see Derek standing there in all his glory flipping pancakes.

Grinning delightfully Stiles walked up behind Derek and kissed his neck. Derek stilled for a moment before taking the last piece of bacon off the grease and turning off the stove. Stiles quickly snatched a piece before Derek had a chance to smack his hand.

"Stiles, that's for breakfast." He groaned, causing Stiles to eye him pointedly.

Derek was completely naked, not even a sock adorned his body. Raising his eyebrow slightly Stiles tried to muffle a laugh.

"Really, and here I thought I'd be having you for breakfast." Stiles replied sarcastically.

Derek smiled before wrapping himself around Stiles and kissing him senseless.

"Maybe I thought you'd like a side dish," he mumbled into the boys' neck before biting gently.

Stiles moaned as his hands explored Derek's body.

"How about we skip breakfast and go straight to dessert?" Stiles groaned and Derek nibbled at the skin on his neck.

"You read my mind," Derek replied wrapping Stiles legs around his waist and guiding him to the kitchen counter.

Grinning deviously, Derek opened the cabinet pulling out lube with one hand as he slid Stiles boxers off with the other.

"Derek, how could you?" Stiles fake gasped at sight of the bottle. "You planned this all along didn't you?"

Derek grabbed Stiles bottom lip between his own and bit down hard causing Stiles to moan loudly.

"I get it, I get it," Stiles groaned. "Now hurry up before somebody interrupts us."

Derek didn't waste any time lubing his fingers. He slipped a finger into Stiles waiting hole and groaned at the feeling.

"Still open for me," he whispered seductively into Stiles ear as he peppered kisses along his jawline.

As soon as he had him open enough he slid another finger in, scissoring Stiles ever so often. Once he got a third finger in he maneuvered his way around until he hit Stiles spot. Moaning in pleasure, Stiles clenched around Derek's fingers trying to take them in deeper.

"I need you inside me now." Stiles pleaded.

Derek removed his fingers and grabbed the lube again, coating himself evenly. As he prepared to enter Stiles there was a crash from the hallway.

"OH MY GOD, MY EYES!" Scott cried out as Stiles sighed and pushed Derek back before pulling his boxers back on.

"I told you not to go in there," Peter's voice rang out from somewhere in the house.

"What th- Oh my God, Peter were you listening?" Stiles rambled.

Stiles was answered by Peter's maniacal laughter. Groaning in displeasure this time, Derek set off up the stairs so he could get dressed while Scott stared at Stiles in pure disgust.

"Seriously dude, the counter? Couldn't you have done that someplace we don't eat and perhaps no one could see you?" Scott whined as Stiles grinned.

"Now where would the fun in that be buddy?" He replied cheerfully.

Scott rolled his eyes and shook his head, then headed to the living room and crashed on the couch.

"Whatever, just get ready. We've got a group date today, remember?" Scott said.

Stiles groaned, "Valentine's Day."

"Valentine's Day," Scott returned with the same look.

Stiles sighed as he walked upstairs and got dressed.

* * *

"That was a disaster!" Stiles yelled, stomped through the living room and falling onto the couch. "Remind me not to do anything nice for them ever again."

"It wasn't that bad," Derek replied with a shrug as he sat down next to Stiles.

"That bad, Erica punched the waitress because she winked at Boyd. Boyd wasn't even looking at her Derek. We got kicked out!" Stiles wailed.

"Come on, you've got to admit the look on her face was funny." Derek said puling Stiles onto his lap and burying his face in his neck.

Stiles tried to suppress a grin, but in the end his smile won out.

"Fine, it was funny but that still doesn't excuse it. This has been a shitty Valentine's Day." Stiles complained.

Pulling Stiles to face him, Derek pulled on a determined face.

"Today has been perfect, and it's all because you were there." Derek said with the straightest face possible.

Stiles laughed whole heartedly at Derek before kissing him deeply.

"Whatever, you sap. Now fuck me before, I explode." Stiles said wiggling out of his clothes.

Derek complied and quickly undressed himself, before pulling a tube of lube out his pants pocket. Kissing up and down Stiles body, he groaned when he got to Stiles hardening member. Blowing on it ever so lightly, he felt Stiles shiver beneath him. He took Stiles in his mouth fast and slick, making sure to lick along the bulging vein sending Stiles into a mini spasm.

Coating his fingers with lube, he began to stretch out Stiles. Listening to every hitch in breathe as he hit Stiles spot and made his way through Stiles as if he were an expert.

"Fuck," Stiles moaned as Derek hit his prostate for the final time before pulling out and lube himself. Pushing in deeply Stiles did a sharp intake of breathe before wiggling so Derek would move.

Slowly Derek began to pound into him getting deeper and deeper until Stiles surprised him and flipped them over with his strength. Stiles began to ride Derek hard and fast, moaning and groaning every time Derek slammed up against him, meeting him thrust for thrust.

"Fuck," Derek moaned. "Stiles I'm gonna, ah."

"Yeah, me too." Stiles groaned before spilling his thick cream all over Derek's abs.

"Holy shit," Stiles heard a new voice say. "That was hot."

Turning to face the doorway Stiles found Erica, Boyd and Isaac looking at them on the couch.

"Um, hi?" Stiles responded as Derek blushed and tried to hide himself in a couch pillow.

"Can we just go now? You've seen what Peter was talking about. It's not like they haven't had sex before." Boyd said dragging Erica up the stairs.

"But I wanna stay and watch some more," Erica whined following Boyd up the stairs.

Isaac muttered something about never being allowed to ride Scott as he headed towards the kitchen.

Taking a deep breath, Stiles fell forward onto Derek and the Alpha wrapped his arms around him.

"Happy Valentine's Day?" Derek asked.

"Happy Valentine's Day." Stiles replied as Scott walked into the living room sniffing the air.

Once he got sight of them Scott covered his eyes and ran out of the room.

"Again, seriously?" They heard Scott yell from the kitchen as they laughed at his displeasure.

* * *

**Beta'd by Emilie Brown, she said:**  
**_Best line ever: Isaac muttered something about never being allowed to ride Scott as he headed towards the kitchen._**  
**Hehe, and Scott was freaking hilarious and Peter is a dirty old man!**


End file.
